Shards of Glass

There is something fascinating about mirrors.

Any type of mirror - whether on the wall, the reflection in a window pane, or the mystical depths of a puddle - creates a sense of wonder and curiosity.

Do you ever imagine that your reflection has it's own personality? Perhaps there is an entire world on the other side of the glass, however distorted and shimmery and cold it might be.

You'll notice mirrors and glass and pools like this have a role in many, many fairy tales or children's stories. Here are a few that come to mind:

• Through the Looking Glass (Lewis Carroll)
• Lewis creates a whole world beyond the mirror
• Snow-White and the Seven Dwarfs (Grimm Brothers)
• the queen is constantly asking the mirror to affirm her beauty 
• The Snow Queen (Hans Christian Anderson)
• a shard of glass enters the boys eye and distorts his vision of the world 
• The Magicians Nephew (C.S. Lewis) 
• the pools between worlds 
• The Lord of the Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien)
• Galadriel's magic mirror
• Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) 
• Anne's imaginary friend, Katie Maurice, is Anne's reflection in the cupboard window. 
• Black as Night (Regina Doman)
• In this modern retelling of Snow White, the mirror is explored in a philosophical way, often behaving as a screen to hide the truth

I'm sure there are a number of other examples, these were just a few that came to mind. Whether it's self-image, perspective of the world, or a source of magical power, the quality of a mirror has been a subject of reflection (both literally and considerately) for many authors, philosophers, imaginers, and dreamers. 

As a child I would sometimes frighten myself by turning off the lights and looking at my reflection in the (almost) darkness. It was easy to imagine something sinister lurking there in the shadows. Inevitably I would shudder horribly and swiftly turn the lights back on. 

While mirrors are probably innocent of guile, it seems that in most stories they take on a dark, sinister  quality: trapping, distorting, deceiving,  reversing. Mirrors can warp truth in such a way as to provide conflict, almost as if they are a character in themselves. 

It occurs to me that there is something of a mirror in our subconscious: do we not often convince ourselves of feelings or responses that are not in fact real? We often have to learn how to navigate our own thoughts so as not to become lost in the maze of fantasy that threatens our security and control. 

We can choose what to believe is real. 

"Looking-glass, looking-glass, on the wall,
Who in this land is the fairest of all?"
~Brothers Grimm (Snow-White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Moments in Time

I've been saying "yes" a lot lately.

Yes to getting together with friends at a moment's notice. 

Yes to extra responsibilities at work. 

Yes to learning new music on guitar - an instrument I picked up just a few months ago. 

Yes to auditioning for a ballet (a spontaneous decision.) 

Yes to giving myself permission to dream and plan for the future, even if it could be disappointing. 

After a year of taking things slow, limiting my commitments, guarding my alone time as my most precious possession, and refusing to make long-term plans, I find myself becoming increasingly outgoing and involved in the lives of those who have managed to get inside my circle of trust.

(Maybe I'll write about that special circle of trust another day.)

How do you spend your time? 

We all have the same hours, minutes, seconds in each day, yet as individuals we can each decide to spend our time in an innumerable variety of ways. 

How does the way you spend your time make you feel? 

Depending on my activities, I find I usually feel either satisfied or anxious. These reactions can give me a clue as to whether I'm making the best choices for myself, though how often I choose to pay attention to those clues is another story.

As I say "yes" to more activities, more responsibilities, my "down-time" becomes busier and I have to concentrate on making sure I'm keeping a good balance in my life. Rather than become overwhelmed by the changes, however, I find myself invigorated by the possibilities and determined to succeed at my new endeavors.

Still, no matter how busy I get, at the end of the day my cat requires a good snuggle - and that is always a highlight for me. After all, our days are made up of such small moments that together create a lifetime. Thus it would seem those small moments truly matter in the grand scheme of things, wouldn't you agree?

"Alice: How long is forever?
White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second."
~Lewis Carroll (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

She Believed She Could

Do you ever find yourself scrolling through quotes, trying to find the perfect sentence to describe what's on your mind?

It could be the essence of a feeling, an inner motivation, a thought that begs for analysis, wisdom passed down from famous people, or simply words set down in an order that strikes a chord within you.

Just me?

Because I do this nearly every day.

I have a theme or a mood that comes to mind, and my go-to source is Goodreads, where I search by word, phrase, author, or book until I discover three or four quotes that I find inspiring.

Sometimes I pair them with pictures I've taken, or I write them on pretty paper and stick them on my wall as a daily reminder.

More often they pile up in a long list and are forgotten until the rare occasions I scroll through my "collection" and remember why I was so inspired.

It saddens me that inspiration can be so fickle. Or maybe I'm the fickle one, because I can be driven with a fierce motivation one day and then forget why it was so important the very next day. Quickly my brain comes up with excuses for why my ideas are unattainable, or foolish, or imperfect. My plans to accomplish great tasks fall prey to distractions and an addiction to comfort.

Are there viable excuses that make this inability to complete a project forgivable?

Certainly. Unexpected events happen, headaches occur, or friends require quality time.

However, as I have grown in self-awareness, I know that I personally have a difficulty finishing what I start. There are a million ideas, which of course I want to tackle simultaneously, and then I overwhelm myself and get nothing done.

Seems incredibly inefficient, no?

Yet that is my life pattern - over and over again I become inspired, make plans, and then find reasons not to bring those plans into fruition.

(*On a side note, there are plenty of times I do accomplish great things! I also have an inner drive that hates to leave things unfinished and there are occasions where I nearly break myself in order to see something through. I am an enigma of contradiction.*)

No matter my successes or failures, I have a perpetual need to do better.

"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it...yet." 

~L.M. Montgomery, (Anne of Green Gables) 

Rather than become bogged down by dwelling on what I have not accomplished, I will try to focus on what can still happen and pursue that.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." 

~George Eliot 

What is something you've thought about doing for a long time but haven't felt possible? Something that perhaps scares you, or seems ridiculous for some reason or other? What if you tried it, and it worked? Allow yourself to hope and dream and fight for what makes you smile. What if you succeed in making your dreams come true?

"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm possible'!" 

~Audrey Hepburn 

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~Maya Angelou